gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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