Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
