I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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