She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sarcasm needs its own font
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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