Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
