Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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