Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
