This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I can text with my tongue
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
