I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
