and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize