Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
