There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
