To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
