I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
