I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
