first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
