idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
