im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish I only lived at night.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
