is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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