you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
