i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
