well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
