i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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