highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
