you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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