I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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