I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
