I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it glows. i had to have it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
