We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
