Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
