I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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