yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
