The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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