sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
