Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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