some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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