this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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