last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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