Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
