I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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