At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
