Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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