Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize