Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
