I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
