No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
this just has baby written all over it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
