my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
