My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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