I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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