I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
